30-year-old quits her job of 6 years after new coworker, Ben, keeps stealing her work and credit, and faces zero consequences despite multiple complaints: ‘I addressed it with my manager, director, and HR. After a year I simply couldn’t take it anymore’

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  • Woman working on laptop at desk in modern office with brick wall background.
  • AIO for quitting my job because of an insufferable coworker

    I (30F) quit my job because of the most insufferable coworker (M29) I'II call him Ben for the sake of this post.
  • I was with my company for a total of 6 years. It was a tech company and I worked in sales for the majority of my time there.
  • I was consistently a top performer (even won 2 awards for having the highest retention rate for my section of the business) so I had a great relationship with a lot of managers and majority of the c-suite.
  • A position opened up to roll out a new product and I was looking for a new challenge so I applied for the position and got the job.
  • I had a close relationship with the manger of the new team and was super excited to get started.
  • There were 2 of us on the team and the coworker | started with was awesome!
  • He was so smart and I was really excited to work with him but shortly after I started he was offered a position at another company so he quit.
  • I was disappointed but trusted the manager would replace him with someone great. This is where Ben came in.
  • two people sitting on a couch talking, one holding a mug while using a laptop in a bright room.
  • I was excited to work with someone who was an external hire because I felt he could offer valuable insights and feedback... but I was de d wrong.
  • I'm very friendly so I immediately introduced myself and started inviting him to shadow me in meetings, teaching him about the product, and showing him what I'd learned from our clients so far.
  • One thing I should add is he was very good at formatting documents. Next thing I knew he was presenting a document with all my work to the managers taking full credit (and it looked like his work because of the formatting).
  • Group of one woman sitting cross-legged on a couch using a laptop in a cozy living room.
  • This became a consistent theme along with him talking over me, belittling me, putting me down, calling me names, purposely excluding me from important meetings, stealing my work, not helping out with the hard tasks, and the list goes on.
  • I tried speaking to him directly, I addressed it with my manager, director, and HR but they just had brief chats with him and the issue continued.
  • After a year of this I simply couldn't take it anymore so I quit. I felt given my track record with the company, the amount of money I'd brought in over the years, and my relationships with my managers Ben should have been removed from the team or written up at the very least.
  • So my question is - did I over reach? Was it immature to quit a job because of one bad coworker or was I justified in my frustration?
  • Daelnbae NOR You've addressed it with him and multiple people of authority and it didn't stop. If anything, I would have done it at the first time he copied your work. Now he has a track record of doing good work. You've allowed him to become valuable. You should not have quit before finding a new job, but the dice has been cast.
  • Alarmed_Kangaroo9979 Original Poster's Reply My work schedule didn't allow time for interviews unfortunately. Thankfully my husband does very well and was in full support of me leaving. I also have a decent amount of money saved since we live way below our means
  • Alarmed_Kangaroo9979 Original Poster's Reply Thank you for this comment you're definitely right! I even provided proof that he stole my work and had other coworkers in these meetings vouch for me. Misogynistic men at work are the absolute worst!
  • Delicious-Ball156 NOR Ultimately you quit because management didn't have your back and the work environment was toxic. Recognising this and leaving is not immature. In fact, over my career I've more often seen the opposite - where someone doesn't leave, stays miserable, and then becomes part of the problem or has their whole career derailed. You assessed the situation and took action. Go you.
  • Alarmed_Kangaroo9979 Original Poster's Reply Thank you
  • Chaosr21 No, I've done it at one of the best paying jobs I had. Right off the bat, guy was a huge a hole. He wouldn't even train me probably, hol he wouldn't even talk to me at all. It was just me and him on the shift, so I had to learn microbiology sh on my own. I quit after over a year, even when I knew my job he didn't get much better
  • Alarmed_Kangaroo9979 Original Poster's Reply I'm sorry you had this experience! Glad you got out
  • DifficultCurrent7 Meh, I've quit several jobs without anything else lined up. Totally different fields but similar- if op is as good at their job as they say (and I believe them), they'll find something else soon enough.
  • waterytartwithasword NOR. I have quit several jobs over my decades of working life due to an insufferable coworker - after lining up a new one. If they make you dread going to work and they are protected by management it's an easy decision. ETA: less than six months after two of those quits, the was fired and I was asked to return. Don't do it. They didn't change. They just found out the hard way who was actually doing the work. NEVER go back.
  • Ease Traditional3803 NOR you did everything you could and despite being a proven good worker with good relationships you weren't supported by the org. You'll be better off somewhere else and Ben won't be there most importantly. People like that are a stain on society.
  • LakeofFire1994 NOR, you gave management multiple chances to address it and they chose to tolerate his behavior over keeping a top performer. The stupid decision was made by them
  • DifficultCurrent7 F that guy. Now you're gone he's so screwed with no one to steal work from. It may take a few weeks but management WILL catch up with what's going on. By that time you'll be well away and in a better job!
  • yelyssa NOR je suis actuellement en recherche d'un nouvel emploi à cause du cousin de Ben. Tu as pensé à ta santé mentale et tu as eu raison.

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